Where to Begin?  . . . Some Words About Mom

I would like to put a few articles up about Mom and Dad on the Darais.io website and I find it a challenge to know where to begin.  Maybe it's a shortcut, but I'll start everything off with the the words I chose to honor Mom with at her funeral.

Introduction
Words, and the short time I have, are not adequate to express the love I have for Mom and to communicate her greatness.  But I will add a few thoughts.

On Sunday March 23rd, my Mother matter-of-factly stated that she wasn't afraid to die.  She had said this to me a few times previously.  I attribute her courage in saying such to her having led such a good life, and to her knowing that she had, and also to her faith.  More remarkable, perhaps, is that she wasn't afraid to live.  And as you've heard here today she did live abundantly, she had a full and well lived life.

I stated to Mom that we weren't afraid to see her go, if it was her appointed time, but also that we just as well have her stay, because, I said, "we like having you around and love you to pieces!"  We talked of the beauty of our gospel faith, and of the fact that we had each other forever, as mother and son.  She was so pleased, she said, to have such good children and was even more pleased that we love each other.

Great, Not All At Once
Mom's greatness didn't come all at once.  As a college freshman, she moved into an unfurnished room.  She wanted to decorate her room but had little money.  She purchased two items.  One was a little penguin figurine, probably costing her five or ten cents at Woolworth--it was a reminder for her to stand up straight, she told me this past January.  Her second item was a poster of Superman!  She wasn't "Supermom" yet, but she had set her sights high!

I've been able to observe Mom while growing up and after leaving home, and have noticed the refinement in her character that came over the years.  She didn't become so nearly perfect "all at once."  Actually, observing that gives me hope that if I continue on the path over time, as my Mother has done, I can be more like her, more refined.  She has shown me the way, and her having done so gives me hope.

I can liken Mother, now having reached her full stature, to a mighty tree in the forest.  And now with that mighty tree having been removed to another place, it creates a mighty void. 

Eyewitness of Mom's Selflessness, Faith
On March 25th and 26th, I had the privilege of staying with Mom through the night.  Mother, being the selfless person that she is, made comments such as "you shouldn't be here" and "you need to be home getting your rest."  Others heard similar statements.  To combat this, I just reflected Norma's psychology back at her:  "I'm not worried about me," I said, "I'm more concerned about you." or "you have the hard part, Mom, I have the easy part."  Mother understood this thinking and she let me attend to her; she was grateful for the comfort.  Mother was so very selfless with others in her thinking and in her actions.  While going through my Master of Accountancy program at BYU Dale Taylor mentioned in his office to me, right off the cuff, that Norma was the most selfless person he knew.  I couldn't agree more.

During that night I stayed with Mom I was able to observe her in the crucible of her faith.  How could this, her ICU stay, be part of the plan of happiness?  What was wrong?  Even as she fought to reconcile her situation, I couldn't help but be in awe of her strength of character as I witnessed her grapple to maintain the underpinnings of her faith.  As she did so, I was so impressed by her faith that I suggested perhaps she should receive a blessing, which she did.  

I would like to bear witness to you that Mother's faith was not misplaced.  As the sons of Helaman had no doubt their mother's knew it, I have no doubt my Mother knew it.  Life is eternal.  God has a plan of happiness for us.  As we open the window of our heart just a little, the Spirit of the Holy Ghost may bear witness of those truths to us.

Interestingly, this past Monday on the way to work, I was listening to a popular talk radio show.  The caller stated that he had come back from the bottom, put his life together, but then had a heart attack.  Soon thereafter he noticed people in addition to medical staff in his hospital room.  His deceased brother was there and told him his time was not yet.  These experiences may not be common, but they are real.  On two or three occasions, while on my mission, after being well into a very spiritual discussion with strangers I had never met before, they would tell me of a departed loved one that had come to visit them.  There was no motivation they would have to tell me such a thing and there was nothing I would have said to prompt such a disclosure--it was just that their trust in my belief in spiritual things was high at the moment.  Life is eternal.  God has a plan of happiness for us.  Of that I bear witness with my heart and soul.

Mother passed her latest test with aplomb, and now she is in a much happier state.  She can now be joyfully reunited with her husband, Alex.  She can now enjoy the company of her dear Mother, Clara, and she can be with her older sister Leone.

Poem
Phyllis Luch, whose family was a friend to ours, wrote the following primary song:

1. I often go walking in meadows of clover,
And I gather armfuls of blossoms of blue.
I gather the blossoms the whole meadow over;
Dear mother, all flowers remind me of you.
2. O mother, I give you my love with each flower
To give forth sweet fragrance a whole lifetime through;
For if I love blossoms and meadows and walking,
I learn how to love them, dear mother, from you.

There are so many things dear to me in this life that I learned to love through my dear Mother.  And those beautiful things--including gospel truths and the Word of Wisdom--that I now appreciate, can now remind me of her.  I am very thankful to Heavenly Father for giving me such a wonderful mother to love and appreciate.  And I say this humbly, in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

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A poem about Mom from Christina:

An elegant simplicity
A style that’s all her own.
You see it in the clothes she wears,
Her garden and her home.

In the kitchen she would make
Her most distinctive dishes
Always making sure they were
Delicious and nutritious.

From rhubarb sauce to “backwards pie”
Yogurt, soups, and stew
Custard, scorpers, “Johnny cakes”
To name only a few.

Her standard set at quality
Required work and skill.
Her output monumental,
So many hearts to fill.

by Christina Darais Oberbeck